Life now

It's been a long time since I haven't posted a non 'child focused' post and let's be honest, now that I've got children my life really does revolve around them and their cute runny noses and constant demands for juice or milk (including Jared ;)). But I feel like I need to write an explanation - mainly to myself - as to why I have stopped blogging.

You see, there was something so 'out there' about the person I was before I got married to Jared while I was in college and trying to find myself. Then I was married and trying to find my new married self so I blogged to do that. I took a break from college and I started working at Nordstrom and I was struggling with our inability to get pregnant and I channeled myself into blogging to try and connect.

But deep deep down, especially now that I've been married for a while (7.5 years thank you very much), I know myself better than I ever did when I was younger. What do I know? I know that I am an introvert. People who I tell this to do not believe me, but it's true. People who I am forced to interact with - at church, work, etc. - on a frequent basis I can open up to because it's a 'safe' zone. Strangers in stores, at the park, friends of Jared's I have a lot of trouble with. I get this knot in my chest that feels like it's hard to breath and it's easier to just look at the floor or pretend I'm doing something on my phone instead of make small talk with people I don't know and who I could potentially insult by an opinion on something. Because I've been told, I have an opinion on everything (this is mainly true).

So blogging became not the primary priority once I had Hilton; and it was also a vulnerable process to blog. To share myself. Plus, I don't feel like I have that many interesting ideas or topics that would be worthwhile for people. But back to the main point, it began to make me uncomfortable. It actually produced anxiety for me and it became more about 'how many people read it' and how interesting I was or wasn't being. And honestly, who needs that? But I would like to be able to post more so that is a goal I am setting for myself. I won't even try to set a mandate of how often I will post because it probably won't happen, but I will try to post when I have time.

Life currently includes a lot of this:

 My boys and their lovies

 All the tractors in the world would never be enough for this boy!

And marbles. He LOVES marbles.

The only way I get temporary privacy in my partially completed bathroom in the morning 

Aspen's way of saying good morning is sticking her nose in my face for some morning loves (and I secretly love it)

Might Machines! I rue the day we found this show on Netflix!!! He has the ENTIRE theme song memorized

And all the snuggles from this boy who loves to be tickled just like Daddy

I sure love my boys!