Content. Is this what heaven feels like? I'm so happy and comfortable in life currently. Not that days aren't without there challenges and it's like I don't have things to work on personally. Because I definitely have days where I know I could have done better. But I'm happy. I love and appreciate my job, and I feel that is reciprocated. I love our neighborhood and where we live. No I do not love all my neighbors, and yes there are projects around my house that are on the if-we-had-a-million-dollars to-do list, but still I love our house and area in which we live and the freedom being homeowners gives us. I have a new car that I don't worry is going to break down on the freeway or loose a tire as I'm driving home (that really happened) and is a wonderful mom car. Most important of all I have the greatest husband who just graduated from Utah Valley University with his bachelor's and is such an amazing provider for our family, and the most precious curious happy little boy to fill my days with wonder and opportunities to be the best mom I can be.
But the only way I can appreciate these things and people is because I have experiences to compare to when I didn't have them in my life and struggled without them. The first three years of our marriage we lived in four different apartments each one worse than the last. We dealt with obnoxious neighbors, ridiculous rent charges with utilities on top, and ultimately lack of control over our own living space. We recently got rid of our Subaru, which was nothing but trouble from the beginning (and a terrible purchase but don't tell Jared I said that) and made me worried driving Hilton around because I didn't feel it was reliable. I dealt with a terrible time dating, I never had a good or healthy romantic relationship until I met Jared and I truly was meant to meet him as he has made these past five years wonderful. And I feel I can still appreciate Hilton even on his terrible no-good very bad fussy days as I know what it was like to cry wanting a baby for so long. There is no way without these hard experiences that I could appreciate all the many blessings that my life currently holds. My challenges that Heavenly Father blessed me with have helped prepare me to appreciate what he wanted to give me, and I'm so grateful for those experiences. I know I have been so incredibly blessed with these people and things in my life, and I'm constantly worried that I will blink and it will be gone. My husband and Hilton are the reason I get up each day and try to be the best person I can be.
All of these things make me the luckiest woman ever, and I don't want to ever forget it.