For those who don't want to read something hard today, please skip this post. It's something that has been weighing on my mind for months and I need to get it off my chest. This isn't about pointing fingers, its merely about learning from the past and changing out future...
Transitions are hard. Nothing really compared to the change from High School to adult life i.e. college and marriage. And along with that change obviously came a lot of growing up. To say that I changed would be an understatement. But to many who did not go through my transformation with me, they still viewed me as the same self centered, immature, prickly schoolgirl I had been in their eyes.
For the most part, those close to me saw how I changed: however there were still many who I thought had been my friends but who really had never seen me as a friend. It is funny when those moments come and you find out who was your friend and who wasn't that stings.
In those moments it is hard to know how to respond maturely when someone who you thought was a friend turns out to have thought otherwise the whole time.
The only thing I have learned from the painful situation is that those who are still stuck in High School merely see you as how they saw you then, showing that they probably still have some growing up to do. It is hard to say anything other than a uplifting quote I've heard somewhere and that is, "Don't judge someone on where they are, but where they have come from" I know it took courage for that person to tell me what they felt of me, but for me it was merely a public stab in the back. I hurt for me to hear what this person felt, and I merely wanted to explain that I had changed but alas words failed me and all I could do was let conversation continue on.
It's like judging a racehorse halfway through the race based on where they started or like saying that a formerly obese person who has lost the majority of their weight is still obese.
I openly admit I have a lot of changing to do, but I have come so far since High School and those teenager days. I also know I have progressed in my journey and that is what life is all about.
It is a good reminder to me and to all who read this, that there are many people you view the way you did from your past; but you shouldn't treat them that same way. Treat them with the decency and respect that they deserved then and still deserve now. It is the way that you yourself also change in their eyes.
Right after HS graduation
Wedding day 6.16.10
p.s. to that friend who thought of me differently from our high school days, I still think of you as a friend even if you can't see me as such. I'm sorry you felt that way, it truly was a surprise that you never considered me a friend. Maybe one day you will change your mind.